Parental Baggage

This Sunday the preacher was finishing up the series "Baggage" with the sermon "Parental Baggage". I immediately looked at Michael and thought in my head, "I'm not wearing waterproof mascara and I am sans Kleenex." I'm sure everyone has experienced some sort of "baggage" in there life. The pastor had three women up on stage interviewing them in a sort of talk show method. Each woman had different experiences with their fathers. The first had an amazing childhood. Her dad was her hero and was the model she used when dating and later married. The second had a great childhood also. But when she was an adult, her dad decided to leave his marriage of 38 years for another woman. In this process he "walked away from the pulpit, his faith, and his family". She has now been trying to rekindle her relationship with him these few years. The third and final woman had an alcoholic for a father. He was physically there but not really there. He was physically abusive to her mother. And emotionally abusive to his kids. Eventually her mother kicked him out and he dropped out of their lives.

Listening to these women brought up a lot of memories and feelings from my own childhood. Silently I wept as I listened to the happy and sad stories told my each woman. Surprisingly I found something in common with all three. The main focus was how parental baggage affects not only your childhood but also your adulthood. It affects how you handle all relationships. Especially your marriage. As I can speak with experience. It teaches you how to fully trust and share with those you love. Your parents are your example! As I'm sitting there listening I'm thinking of my own personal struggles with baggage and the healing process you have to go through. Someone asked me, "What did Michael say to you that helped you through it." He didn't. It was all God! He's the only one that can fully meet my needs. All Michael could do was sit by and remind me constantly how much he loves me and that he was not going anywhere! Going through that process helped me depend on and trust Michael more. I love him and trust him more everyday! Especially now that we are expecting our own.

I sat there thinking how happy I was that I have complete faith and trust in Michael. I was at peace knowing that while he may not be a perfect father, he will be the father God wants and expects him to be. The father that I pray he will be. I also pray that I will be the mother that God wants and expects me to be. I pray for the faith and wisdom for us both to guide this child down the path to God. And look forward to seeing what will come.
I've unpacked my baggage and moving forward, no looking back!!